


Storybrooke Youth Educational Activities Program

by into_themists



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Multi, Non-Profit AU, humor/satire
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-18
Updated: 2020-11-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:48:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27611621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/into_themists/pseuds/into_themists
Summary: SYEAP (pronounced “sheep”) is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization aimed at bettering the lives of young people in Storybrooke, Maine, through mentorship and high-quality after-school programming, run by committed staff members who (almost) always do their jobs.Henry's internship is not exactly what he expected.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 15





	Storybrooke Youth Educational Activities Program

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Corasparasol (LastVerse)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LastVerse/gifts).



> Disclaimer 1: Onella made me do it. The #nonprofitculture stories are fictionalized but also...true. IYKYK.
> 
> Disclaimer 2: The inclusion of the book "White Fragility" is not necessarily meant as an endorsement (of anything but the extremely appropriate title). If you're a fellow white person who's into the Antiracism Book Club thing, please support the numerous authors of color who have written similar/better books.

**I. Staff Meeting**

“Welcome, Henry, we’re so glad to have you,” Mary Margaret Blanchard, the newly promoted Executive Director of the Storybrooke Youth Educational Activities Program, gushes. “It’s always so lovely when alumni come back as interns.” Henry opens his mouth to say something, but Mary Margaret is still talking. “And technically it’s both of our first days, because I’m just starting my new position. It’s so good to have you back! Are you ready for your first staff meeting?”

“I guess,” Henry replies, because what else is there to say?

Mary Margaret leads him into a room mostly filled with people he’s known for years. “Everyone, this is our new intern, Henry, who will be leading our new creative writing program. If you don’t know him, please introduce yourself.”

The room is silent. Henry exchanges a glance with Regina, who used to be his science instructor, and tries not to laugh.

“Um, well, anyway, let’s go around and give department updates. Marketing?”

“We’re getting a lot of likes on our Instagram posts,” Ruby says with a shrug.

At the same time, Zelena stands up and asks, “Where is the food? I thought you said there would be lunch at this meeting?”

“It’s not here yet. Ruby and Zelena, great job with the Instagram posts. Development?”

“It looks like the Storybrooke Foundation is going to increase our funding this year,” says Belle, the head grant writer. “So, that’s excellent. We’ll have more updates at the end of this week.”

“Wonderful!” exclaims Mary Margaret. “They’ve always been our biggest supporters. Programs?”

“Yes, programs are doing great,” David, the director of programs says distractedly, his eyes never leaving Mary Margaret. “The work we do is so important for our community.”

Regina scoffs. “The work _we_ do? When’s the last time you visited one of the programs?”

Ignoring her, David continues, “We’ll have updates from two of our program staff members, Marian and Emma. Marian, would you like to start?”

“Wilderness Exploration is going well. We had ten participants on our camping trip last weekend. No one got sick or injured.”

“Oh...um, okay. Do you want to share any more details?”

Robin leans across the table and whispers, “Tell them about the canoe trip and campfire songs,” but Marian pretends not to hear him.

“Nope, that’s all. When exactly is the food arriving?”

David sighs and says, “Emma?”

“We had a good turnout in Life Skills last week,” Emma says with a shrug. “The girls are learning how to break into a car.” Everyone turns to stare at her. “You know, in case they lock their keys inside.”

“The things they let you get away with when you’re white,” mutters Ursula, the choir director.

“Okay, great, anything from HR?” Mary Margaret asks, the smile on her face looking a bit forced.

Granny shakes her head. “Just that if you want to opt in to the new dental insurance plan, Friday’s the last day. Oh, and welcome to our new intern, Henry. I believe Emma is supposed to be your mentor.” 

Emma looks confused. “I thought it was Regina.”

“I also thought it was Regina,” Regina says indignantly.

“Well, it’s one of you. Makes no difference to me as long as someone’s there to answer Henry’s questions.”

Zelena looks around. “That was all the departments, right? So, meeting adjourned?”

“Not so fast,” Mary Margaret says, producing a folder from behind her back. “David, could you please distribute the handouts for our communication styles workshop?”

“Workshop?” Mulan, who teaches physical fitness and self-defense, groans. “My communication style is food. When is lunch?”

* * *

**II. Foundation Visit**

On Tuesday, Belle announces that Cora Mills of the Storybrooke Foundation is planning her semi-annual program visit later that week. “Marian and Robin, she’ll be with you for Wilderness Exploration. I know you two will make a good impression, but just a reminder that the Storybrooke Foundation does give us about eighty percent of our funding, so let’s make sure they see it put to good use.”

“Of course,” Robin promises immediately. “Marian will be out that day, but I’ll be leading a small group hike to the waterfall.”

“And Zelena, you’ll be there to document it for social media?”

Zelena nods, but shoots a sad look at Marian before complaining, “You’re really expecting _Cora Mills_ to hike in the woods?”

“Cora says she doesn’t mind.”

“Now, wait a minute,” Mary Margaret says, “Zelena has a point. I thought we’d send Cora to Science Club. It’s our highest rated program and a bit more academically oriented.”

“What?” Belle blinks in confusion. “Cora can’t go to Science Club, because of the conflict of interest.”

“Conflict of interest? What conflict of interest?”

“Why do you all think that the woman can’t enjoy the outdoors just because she’s rich?” Regina demands. “There’s a whole lot of stereotyping going on here, and I don’t think it suits us as an organization.”

Mary Margaret blushes and runs to the bathroom.

Emma lets out a snort of laughter. “How long have you both been working here?”

“Fifteen years,” Regina says with a tired sigh.

“And she still doesn’t know Cora is your mother?”

“No, and please don’t tell her; it would ruin everything.” Lowering her voice so that only Emma can hear, Regina adds, “There’s a bit of history between our mothers that would make our enemies-with-benefits arrangement even more awkward than it already is.”

Emma wrinkles her nose. “Ew. Why am I the one you decided to trust with your secrets?”

* * *

**III. Program Evaluation**

“Regina, I’ll be sitting in on Science Club today for your monthly evaluation,” Mary Margaret says in her most official tone.

Regina shrugs. A few of the staff members had been nervous when Mary Margaret announced the new monthly program evaluations, but Regina isn’t worried. Science Club is consistently the most attended and best reviewed program that SYEAP offers, second only to Wilderness Exploration during the summer months.

(And even if it wasn’t, Mary Margaret knows that a bad review would cause Regina to file an HR report about some of their nighttime escapades, which are technically forbidden now that Mary Margaret is Executive Director.)

Mary Margaret is still talking. “I will be evaluating based on a rubric that takes into account your lesson planning and time management, as well as your tone and demeanor when interacting with our participants. I know there were some questions last year about---”

“Well, that seems a bit subjective and---dare I say it?---racist,” Regina interrupts. “My tone? My demeanor? Have any of the students complained?”

“Well, er, no,” Mary Margaret stammers, “but I just read a very interesting book that mentioned the importance of projecting warmth in our interactions with young people.”

“A book? When’s the last time you ran a program yourself? Wasn’t it that failed birdhouse painting workshop?”

“Failed? Regina, that’s a bit of a stretch.”

“Only one student showed up, and he left halfway through. So, forgive me if I don’t take advice from _you_ about engaging the youth.”

* * *

**IV. After Work Drinks**

Hook, the bartender at the Jolly Roger, has their drinks ready for them when they arrive. “I assume we’re here to toast the new Executive Director? Did she give you all unicorn stickers?”

Zelena sighs and downs a shot of vodka. “I miss Mr. Gold. I mean, I know he was embezzling foundation money, but at least he let us do what we wanted instead of these endless staff meetings.”

“I appreciated that I never even knew his first name,” Marian comments, “let alone all his inner feelings.”

Emma shakes her head. “You guys know Mary Margaret is one of my best friends, but I don’t know how much longer I can handle this. Is death by meeting a thing?” She gratefully accepts another shot from Hook and demands, “How do you manage to get out of them?”

He looks confused. “Meetings aren’t part of my job description.”

“Lucky,” grumbles Zelena. “It’s probably because he slept with Cora Mills. I wish I could get on her good side.”

Marian laughs. “Being Cora Mills’ _daughter_ doesn’t get Regina out of these damn meetings. You think sleeping with her would help?”

“Well, you know, meetings aren’t the only consideration…”

Emma almost spits out her vodka. “Gross, Zelena!”

“Relax, I’m only joking. It’s just...well, it’s been a while, you know.” Zelena casts a wistful glance at Marian, who doesn’t seem to notice. 

* * *

**V. DEI Book Club Part I**

“I think someone left their book on my desk,” Mary Margaret announces to the rest of the office. She squints to read the title. “ _White Fragility_. Whose is this?”

Nobody answers, although there are a few poorly muffled snickers around the room.

“Really? This book just appeared out of thin air?”

“Maybe someone meant to give it to you,” Regina suggests. “As a gift.”

“A gift?” Mary Margaret studies the front cover. “‘Why it’s so hard for white people to talk about racism.’ Why would someone give this to me?”

“I’ve heard of that book!” Belle exclaims. “Perhaps we should all read it. A lot of organizations are starting DEI book clubs these days.”

David looks confused. “What’s DEI?”

“Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion,” Regina snaps. “Not surprised you’ve never heard of it.”

Mary Margaret is nodding vigorously. “A book club sounds like a great idea. We could all stand to have some more conversations about racism.”

“Who is ‘we’?” Ursula asks under her breath.

“I know, right?” Marian whispers back. “Can we be exempt?”

“I think this is very important for all of us,” says Mary Margaret. “I’ll dip into the holiday party fund to get every staff member a copy of this book.”

“The holiday party?” Ruby looks aghast. “Granny, is she allowed to do that?”

The Director of HR glares over the top of her glasses. “Technically, calling me Granny is an ageist insult.”

* * *

**VI. Intern Troubles**

“So, are you supposed to be mentoring me, or is Regina?” Henry asks, cornering Emma one afternoon after both of their classes are done.

Emma shrugs. “I thought it was supposed to be Regina, but people here change their minds every day. So, if you have any questions...”

“Maybe Mary Margaret doesn’t want Regina to mentor me because they’re fighting.”

“Fighting?” Emma narrows her eyes. “What do you mean?”

“How do you not know what I mean? I’ve been here over a week and every conversation I’ve heard between them has been an argument.”

“Oh, that. That’s normal. That’s every interaction between them for _years._ You learn to tune it out after a while.”

“Really?” Henry asks. “Did they hate each other when I was a kid here? I never noticed.”

“Well, I wouldn’t say _hate.”_ Emma pauses and reflects. “Okay, yeah, I would say hate. It’s complicated. But, yeah, they’ve literally always been like this. It’s good that the kids don’t notice, but we definitely do. Welcome to the toxic work environment!”

Henry sighs. “I wish I could just teach my program and stop going to the office.”

“Don’t we all, kid. I really want to know how Hook gets away with it. Maybe you should ask him to mentor you.”

* * *

**VII. Office Gossip**

“Not to spread rumors, but my roommate didn’t come home last night,” Emma whispers to Ruby across their shared desk.

“Who’s your roommate?” Henry wonders aloud, but neither of his colleagues seem to hear.

Ruby chortles. “Prince Charming, finally? Or another round with the Evil Queen?”

“No idea.”

Almost as if on cue, Mary Margaret rushes into the office, still wearing yesterday’s sweater covered by a freshly pressed black blazer, clutching a red cup that seems to bear the logo of Forbidden Fruit Bakery.

“I guess that answers that question,” Emma mutters, and Ruby rolls her eyes.

Realizing his questions are not going to be answered, Henry gets back to work, annoyed.

Five minutes later, Regina enters, holding a paper bag from the same bakery. “Sorry I’m late,” she says to Mary Margaret.

Mary Margaret, her face flushed redder than her coffee cup, replies, “It’s fine.”

Henry’s eyes widen as he starts to put two and two together. “Ew.”

* * *

**VIII. DEI Book Club Part II**

“Okay, the first meeting of the SYEAP DEI Book Club will now come to order,” Mary Margaret yells over the din of conversation. “Is everyone here?”

David, ever helpful, checks the attendance list. “I think only Ursula is missing.”

“Oh, right, she called in sick today. I guess she has laryngitis.”

Henry glances down at his phone, where Ursula has just sent “Karaoke tonight??” to the staff group chat, and smirks.

“Anyway, who has comments about the book?”

Silence.

Mary Margaret tries again. “Who read the book?”

Again, no one answers. Finally, Mary Margaret sighs. “Okay, so, I found an activity online called the privilege walk. I thought it would be fun for us all to do it together. Everybody stand up and form a line.”

“This should end well,” Regina says under her breath.

Mary Margaret reads off each statement, taking a step forward with almost all of them, until she finally turns to see most of her employees standing varying distances behind her. Flustered, she asks the group, “So, what did we learn about checking our privilege from this activity?”

“Who’s ‘we’?” Emma calls from the back of the room.

“I learned that I have a lot of privilege on account of being a straight white male,” David says as if he’s reading a script, “and that I need to be aware of it.”

“Thank you, David.” The relief in Mary Margaret’s voice is palpable. “Anyone else?”

Henry and Robin shrug because, well, what can they say that David didn’t already cover, and everyone else is silent.

Mary Margaret apparently needs participation, though, because she suddenly turns to Regina and says, “Regina, you’re further forward than I thought you’d be. That’s surprising. Do you want to talk about that?”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” If looks could set people on fire, Mary Margaret would be a pile of ashes already. “Surprising? Do you think I couldn’t have grown up with money just because I’m Latina?”

“That’s not what I meant,” Mary Margaret tries to protest, but it’s obviously exactly what she meant. “I just---you know.”

Emma raises her hand. “Hey, I think this is an example of a microaggression.” She turns to Marian and Mulan and asks, “It is a microaggression, isn’t?”

“Why are you asking _us_?” Marian demands, and Emma’s face goes beet red as she mouths “sorry.”

“Um, anyway, this meeting is adjourned,” Mary Margaret announces, about an octave higher than her normal voice. “Good work everyone. Let’s reconvene next week.”

“But I still want to hear about _your_ privilege. Right, everyone? It’s very interesting that the person with power over all of us was at the front, and---”

“Regina, I said this meeting is adjourned!”

* * *

**IX. Performance Review**

“I can’t believe she’s starting performance reviews already,” Robin complains. “She’s only been our executive director for a few weeks.”

Marian shakes her head and points out, “I guess they’re supposed to be annual, though, and it’s been over a year since the last ones. What I don’t understand is why Mary Margaret is doing all of them herself. Isn’t David technically our supervisor?”

“Please. You think David is capable of doing performance reviews for all the program staff? He doesn’t even know what happens in this office, let alone at the sites.” Regina takes another swig of coffee and mutters, “Maybe someday when we get a real ED, he’ll finally be fired.”

“But that’s why I want him doing my performance review,” Marian argues. “No feedback. He just says everything’s great and buys you a croissant.”

“Mmm, I could definitely go for a croissant.”

Regina smirks. “Do you two really think you have anything to worry about from Mary Margaret? Please. She’d cry before she said something negative.” She checks her watch and flashes Robin and Marian an evil grin. “Actually, it’s time for mine right now. See you two at the bar later?”

Mary Margaret’s shoulders are tense when Regina enters her office. “Regina, please, have a seat,” she says, offering a smile that looks more like a grimace.

“Am I your first performance review of the cycle?” Regina asks as she sits. Mary Margaret seems to grasp that it’s a rhetorical question.

“Well, let’s get right into it. We’ll start with program evaluations. Science club is averaging over nine out of ten on all five of the student satisfaction metrics, so that’s good.”

“Wait, what metrics?”

“Oh, we just started doing them. We’re asking participants to rate their programs based on engagingness, physical and emotional safety, instructor responsiveness---”

Regina interrupts. “Is engagingness even a word? And why were none of us told about this new rating system that’s apparently now the basis for our performance evaluations?”

“Why are you upset? Your ratings were excellent.”

“But you can’t just not tell people how you’re evaluating their job performance! That’s… well, it’s poor management at the very least. What the hell, Mary Margaret? You couldn’t have mentioned it at one of the seventeen meetings we’ve had since you took over?”

“You think we should have another meeting?”

Regina buries her face in her hands. “You’re such an idiot.”

“I’m sorry.” Mary Margaret sounds like she’s about to cry, which would be the fourth time in four days that Regina has had that effect on her. And then, a suggestive look. “I could make it up to you?”

“This isn’t about our sex life, Mary Margaret!”

* * *

**X. Gala**

Henry adjusts his tie for what must be the fifth time in as many minutes, feeling suffocated and very out of place. “How did I get on the list to come to this thing?” he complains to Emma, who looks equally uncomfortable in a short pink dress which is neither her style nor up to the gala’s dress code.

“Are you kidding? They love dragging alumni staff to this thing. That’s how I end up here every year. The food’s good, though.”

“I didn’t know you were an alum.”

Emma rolls her eyes. “I went to one program when I was in high school. Didn’t even realize it was the same place when I started working here, actually, but Mary Margaret looked it up in the records. Looks good for them, you know, if alumni are giving back.” She looks around quickly and whispers, “You may also notice we’re the only white staff invited. Also looks good for them if it seems like they hire more people of color, which is why they all have to come. Don’t try to get Mary Margaret to admit it, though---she won’t.”

“Isn’t that exploitative?”

“Congratulations,” Regina says drily, causing Henry to jump a foot in the air. He hadn’t heard her come up behind them. “You’ve learned the most important lesson about non-profit culture. Our mentorship is done.” She gives him a once-over and wordlessly starts fixing his tie.

Henry’s face is beet red. “Thanks, I didn’t really know how to tie that thing.”

“I could tell. Henry, meet my father, also named Henry. Emma, I think you two have met?” The older man trailing behind Regina gives a half-hearted wave, looking about as excited to be there as the rest of them. “I don’t know if my mother’s here yet, but we’re trying to steer clear of her.”

“She’s not, but she’s supposed to be seated at the front table, next to someone called Killian Jones,” Emma says. “I don’t know who that is. Maybe someone else from the foundation?”

Regina shakes her head. “Beats me. Could be a foundation guy, but I’ve never heard that name. Maybe he’s new.”

“Well, as much as I love a good gala mystery, I’m going to hit the buffet table before all the rich people arrive,” Emma says with a shrug. “Do you guys want to join me?”

Regina declines, stating that she sees her work friends far more often than her father, but Henry, never one to refuse free food, follows Emma to the back corner, where several of their coworkers are already gathered.

“They really went all out this year,” Mulan reports. “This ceviche is amazing.”

“Ceviche? Damn.”

Ursula, however, looks slightly queasy. “I wish they’d gone all out on the non-seafood options,” she complains. “Some people are---” She stops abruptly, staring at the door, and frowns. “Is that...Hook?”

“Looks like Hook,” Mulan mumbles, her mouth full of ceviche. “And that’s Cora Mills. We know they’ve slept together at least once.”

“Yeah, but the gala? I thought this was invite-only for employees.”

“I guess he got invited by Cora Mills,” Emma says. “This must be so awkward for Regina.” She doesn’t seem too concerned for Regina, though, as she continues piling appetizers onto her plate. “He wasn’t on any of the lists, though, unless…wait. Is he Killian Jones?”

Ursula wrinkles her nose. “Probably, but that’s...ugh. Hard to think of him that way.”

“Well, it’s not like Hook is anyone’s real name,” Henry reasons. “We knew it had to be something else.”

“I know, but _Killian Jones_?”

There may be more to say about the mystery of Killian Jones, but their conversation is interrupted by Mary Margaret. “There you all are. I thought we had talked about mingling with the guests. They want to know about our programs and all the amazing work we’re doing with Storybrooke’s youth!”

* * *

**XI. Company Retreat Part I**

From his time in SYEAP’s Wilderness Exploration program, Henry remembers the hike to the cabin being about half a mile longer than anyone wanted, but nothing could have prepared him for the amount of complaining coming from his coworkers.

“How do you do this with teenagers every single weekend?” Regina asks Robin, her tone the closest thing to whine Henry’s ever heard from her.

Robin sounds a little short of breath when he answers, “We take breaks every ten minutes with the teenagers. We should have left earlier.”

Mulan shakes her head. “I’m not spending any more time at this company retreat than necessary. Why can’t we take a break now?”

“We’re almost there, though,” Marian tries to reassure them. “We could sing a hiking song?”

“Mar, I love you, but absolutely not.” At Marian’s quizzical look, Zelena blushes and suddenly increases her pace, drawing smirks from everyone else.

Emma brings up the rear, grumbling to herself about blisters and Mary Margaret probably not bringing enough food. 

After what feels like ten minutes but is probably only two, Robin calls out, “We made it!”

Henry looks up to see the familiar cabin, with Mary Margaret, David, Belle, and Granny already standing in front of it. Mary Margaret looks torn between anger and relief. “Thank goodness you’re all here, finally! There’s no cell service out here; we thought you might be lost.”

“We should be so lucky,” Regina mutters, shooting Robin and Marian a death glare, apparently for failing to get them lost.

Mary Margaret announces that she and David are going to look at birds while everyone else gets settled in. “I’m not sure why you all have such big backpacks,” she says with a laugh. “We’re only here for one night.”

As soon as she’s out of sight, everyone starts pulling bottles of liquor out of their bags, calling out what they brought so Belle can tally up the inventory.

Granny rolls her eyes. “I’m just going to pretend I don’t see anything.”

“Okay,” Belle says, studying her list, “seems like we have about every alcohol ever invented, except rum.” Everyone groans.

“I was about to buy some, too, but I assumed Hook would bring it,” says Ursula. She looks around, confused. “Where is he? Did he somehow get out of this, too?”

Her question is met with a chorus of “he would” and “that bastard.” Only Granny looks perplexed. “Who the heck is Hook?”

“Oh, right.” Emma snaps her fingers. “We know his real name now: Killian Jones. How does he get out of doing literally everything?”

“No one named Killian Jones works here,” Granny says. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Wait, you thought Hook worked here?” Regina tries, and fails, to hold back laughter. 

Marian glares. “You knew he didn’t? And you didn’t tell us?”

“I thought it was a joke! You know, because he knew so much about our drama and… You seriously thought he worked here?”

“Well, we don’t think so anymore,” Ursula says glumly. “And now we have no rum.”

“Yeah, thanks Regina,” Emma snaps, kicking a loose floorboard.

“How exactly is this my fault?”

* * *

**XII. Company Retreat Part II**

Despite the cabin lacking most basic amenities, Mary Margaret has somehow managed to hook up a projector for what she apparently thinks is an appropriate work retreat game: Guess the Baby Picture.

She seems to be the only one enjoying it.

“Oh! What a cute baby! Henry, is this you?”

Ruby, Ursula, Emma, Regina, and Robin each take a gulp from their SYEAP Nalgenes, which have been filled with liquor for their version of a work retreat game: Drink Whenever Mary Margaret Guesses the Baby Picture Incorrectly. So far, they’re winning.

“That’s not me,” Henry says, before turning to his coworkers and asking in a whisper, “How did she even get our baby pictures?”

“She sent an email asking for them a while ago,” Ruby explains. “I think it was just before you started working here. She didn’t explain why she wanted them, but I guess now we know.”

Mary Margaret is still puzzling over the baby in the picture. “Well, it can’t be Robin because we already saw his. And it doesn’t really look like David…”

Finally, Emma interrupts. “It’s me. You’ve literally seen this picture before. It’s in our apartment.”

“Oh, right. I thought it was a boy for some reason --- why are you wearing boy’s clothes?”

“Why do baby clothes have to be gendered?” Emma shoots back. “Also, I was in foster care. Thanks for bringing it up.”

“How is she so bad at this?” Robin wonders, taking another sip from his Nalgene even though the game doesn’t call for it. “Didn’t she make this slideshow herself?”

“Okay, next baby,” Mary Margaret announces gleefully, clicking over to the next photo.

“Well, this should be easier,” Regina says under her breath. “I don’t know who else she’d mistake me for.”

Mary Margaret immediately guesses Zelena and everybody takes a drink.

“You have got to be kidding me.”

Henry looks around and wonders aloud, “Where is Zelena anyway?” but before anyone can speculate on her whereabouts (or Marian’s, Henry is now realizing), they’re interrupted by a loud knock at the door.

“Who could that be?” Mary Margaret asks, looking worried. “Who else even knows this cabin exists?” 

A voice on the other side of the door shouts, “Swan, you owe me!” Emma opens the door to a disgruntled Hook, who practically growls, “When you said you needed a delivery for SYEAP, I didn’t realize you meant the middle of bloody nowhere.”

“Well, I wanted you to have a chance to get in on the fun, even if you don’t actually work here.”

Hook rolls his eyes. “Oh, yeah, this looks like a barrel of fun. Why are we looking at Regina’s baby pictures?”

“What’s this?” Mary Margaret demands. “What do you mean, a delivery? And how do you know that’s Regina?”

“Um... is it not obvious? Also, the picture is in Cora’s sitting room, so it’s not like I haven’t seen it.”

“Oh.” Mary Margaret looks between Regina and Hook in confusion. “Why would Cora have a picture of Regina as a baby in her sitting room?”

“What? Because she’s her---”

“I was a child model.” Regina glares around the room, daring anyone to contradict her. After a moment of silence, she gives an approving nod. 

Emma clears her throat and shuffles awkwardly. “Well, anyway, thanks for the rum, Hook. Let’s put this in the closet with the rest.”

“Rum? And what do you mean by ‘the rest’?” Mary Margaret looks scandalized, but her attention is quickly drawn to a bigger scandal as soon as Emma opens the closet door. “Zelena? Marian? What are you doing in there?”

“Seems pretty obvious, don’t you think?” Hook comments, watching Marian wipe furiously at the lipstick Zelena left on her neck while Zelena attempts to find her shirt. “Well done, you two.”

Ruby pulls a small notebook out of her pocket and announces, “Okay, the pool for Marian and Zelena was $100. Let’s see who bet on the retreat. Looks like…Henry! Congratulations!”

“Damn, only a month in and you already won your first Hookup Pool. How are you going to spend it?”

Henry, only partially joking, asks, “What’s the cost of a Greyhound ticket to anywhere but here?”


End file.
